The knight of faith -

and the rest of us...

How can we believe? I could ask “why”, but that always tend to get one into a quagmire of endless doubts, so let´s be practical and simply inquire, How?

“On this the knight of faith is just as clear: all that can save him is the absurd; and this he grasps by faith. Accordingly he admits the impossibility and at the same time believes the absurd.”
“Fear and Trembling” S Kierkegaard

God is my reason for believing in him, and none other. The Bible doesn´t concern itself with proving the existence of God, but simply describes the manifestation of his presence, in the old covenant with his people, Israel, and in the new covenant through his son, Jesus Christ. This may be silly-logic in the eyes of the world, even in mine own eyes at times. No proof, no extraneous motives beyond God himself. So I can´t help anyone with the question in the introduction, only God really can. Still being not easily discouraged when it comes to writing, this will be a small and flawed attempt to help somehow for ...my tounge is the pen of a ready writer (Ps 45:1)

The difficulty I find in writing or saying anything helpful to another human being about God, is that chances are they wouldn´t like him. For people who want to retain supreme control of their own lives, the gospel is bad news, not good. Chances are, the few things in their lives they consider worthwhile, are not consistent with christian living. It feels a bit like dragging someone to a surprise party hosted at the IRS (US tax collection agency). They think they´re going to get squeezed to the last penny, when really there´s a party going on in their very honour. Maybe christian life is one of those rooms that has to be kept darkened, from the outside looking in it´s horrible, then you enter, fumble for the light switch, and all is light. And it was very good...

If sin is the reign of death, then becoming a christian is becoming a free person, a son of God. If it isn´t, then there´s really no cause for alarm. That´s how simple it is. If supreme control of my own life is possible, then I don´t need God. But, as the Dylan song goes, “You gotta serve somebody!” This will ALWAYS be a cause of contention between the church and the world. We say it´s death, they say it´s life. I know the experience of sin in my life has been utter depression, void and death, but by what knowledge do I presume someone else to be under the rule of whatever? If people say they like getting wasted, screwing around and trampling other people underfoot, who am I to say it´s bad? No one, my opinion on the matter is irrelevant. But I DO know, that even bad kings know how to use both carrots and sticks. And that though techniques of repression can be ever so subtle and cunning, most people will notice they´re getting screwed, even when failing to see where, when and by whom.

Some may feel I speak too confrontational about the relation between the church and the world, “war-talk” as it were. I don´t like using war-metaphors frivolously, especially since I haven´t witnessed or been in one myself. But in this sense it is justified, as an interesting correspondence between Pliny and Trajanus the emperor may illustrate, written somwhere in between 111 and 113 AD.

Pliny to the Emperor Trajan
"It is my practice, my lord, to refer to you all matters concerning which I am in doubt. For who can better give guidance to my hesitation or inform my ignorance? I have never participated in trials of Christians. I therefore do not know what offenses it is the practice to punish or investigate, and to what extent. And I have been not a little hesitant as to whether there should be any distinction on account of age or no difference between the very young and the more mature; whether pardon is to be granted for repentance, or, if a man has once been a Christian, it does him no good to have ceased to be one; whether the name itself, even without offenses, or only the offenses associated with the name are to be punished.
Meanwhile, in the case of those who were denounced to me as Christians, I have observed the following procedure: I interrogated these as to whether they were Christians; those who confessed I interrogated a second and a third time, threatening them with punishment; those who persisted I ordered executed. For I had no doubt that, whatever the nature of their creed, stubbornness and inflexible obstinacy surely deserve to be punished. There were others possessed of the same folly; but because they were Roman citizens, I signed an order for them to be transferred to Rome.
Soon accusations spread, as usually happens, because of the proceedings going on, and several incidents occurred. An anonymous document was published containing the names of many persons. Those who denied that they were or had been Christians, when they invoked the gods in words dictated by me, offered prayer with incense and wine to your image, which I had ordered to be brought for this purpose together with statues of the gods, and moreover cursed Christ--none of which those who are really Christians, it is said, can be forced to do--these I thought should be discharged. Others named by the informer declared that they were Christians, but then denied it, asserting that they had been but had ceased to be, some three years before, others many years, some as much as twenty-five years. They all worshipped your image and the statues of the gods, and cursed Christ.
They asserted, however, that the sum and substance of their fault or error had been that they were accustomed to meet on a fixed day before dawn and sing responsively a hymn to Christ as to a god, and to bind themselves by oath, not to some crime, but not to commit fraud, theft, or adultery, not falsify their trust, nor to refuse to return a trust when called upon to do so. When this was over, it was their custom to depart and to assemble again to partake of food--but ordinary and innocent food. Even this, they affirmed, they had ceased to do after my edict by which, in accordance with your instructions, I had forbidden political associations. Accordingly, I judged it all the more necessary to find out what the truth was by torturing two female slaves who were called deaconesses. But I discovered nothing else but depraved, excessive superstition.
I therefore postponed the investigation and hastened to consult you. For the matter seemed to me to warrant consulting you, especially because of the number involved. For many persons of every age, every rank, and also of both sexes are and will be endangered. For the contagion of this superstition has spread not only to the cities but also to the villages and farms. But it seems possible to check and cure it. It is certainly quite clear that the temples, which had been almost deserted, have begun to be frequented, that the established religious rites, long neglected, are being resumed, and that from everywhere sacrificial animals are coming, for which until now very few purchasers could be found. Hence it is easy to imagine what a multitude of people can be reformed if an opportunity for repentance is afforded."

Trajan to Pliny
"You observed proper procedure, my dear Pliny, in sifting the cases of those who had been denounced to you as Christians. For it is not possible to lay down any general rule to serve as a kind of fixed standard. They are not to be sought out; if they are denounced and proved guilty, they are to be punished, with this reservation, that whoever denies that he is a Christian and really proves it--that is, by worshiping our gods--even though he was under suspicion in the past, shall obtain pardon through repentance. But anonymously posted accusations ought to have no place in any prosecution. For this is both a dangerous kind of precedent and out of keeping with the spirit of our age."

For being the McCarthys of their age, they seem strangely humanistic while discussing the executions of the trouble-makers. One almost sympathizes with their desire to preserve the order of their society. I mean, all they ask for is a bit of kneeling to the Roman idols, no need to believe in them or anything, just show some good-will to the emperor and they´ll let bygones be bygones. The “repentees” declaration, that the sum and substance of their faith was meeting on a certain day is ample, if unnecessary, proof that mere bench-warming in the church does little to improve one´s character. As for God´s judgement on this, well, it´s supremely His.

But the reality check this correspondence affords, is that there was no “cure” of this particular disease. Because faith is not a dead collection of opinions on facts or myths in the world, spiritual or material, not something I can wield intellectually at my pleasure; it is something that has and wields ME. And He who wields is mightier than Trajanus and the rest of his lot.


Trajanus (Matt 22:15-22)